Ethical Storytelling for Nonprofits: Protecting Story Owners

The Fundraiser Who Published the Wrong Story

Imagine your fundraiser is a success, and then you learn that the story that helped you get there may have put someone in danger. That's what happened to Diana Farias early in her nonprofit career, and she shared it with Trevor Nelson on the Hey Nonprofits! podcast because she wants other fundraisers to avoid the same mistake.

Diana started as a volunteer photographer and then took a job as a communications and development coordinator. One of her first assignments was to write stories and take photos of ten young mothers who had won college scholarships. Their pictures and stories went everywhere: the programs, the website, appeals, emails and social media. The nonprofit met its fundraising goal, and she felt great.

A couple of weeks later she overheard program staff talking about one of the women. She had been in a domestic violence situation, and her ex was being led out of jail. Diana knew from her own advocacy for survivors that what she'd published, the woman's first and last name, her children's names and the program location, could lead him back to her. She scrubbed the website and old social posts, but the lesson stayed with her: "If I had known ahead of time, then I would not have published this young woman's story to begin with."

Diana was blunt about how little she knew at the time. She didn't have the words "ethical storytelling" yet. She just knew she had to change how she gathered and told stories. Over the next five years, with help from colleagues, her own research and an article from Save the Children, she worked out a process. When she left that organization she started her own business to teach other nonprofit teams the same approach, because it's still a surprise to many people that this can happen.

The Story Owner Is Part of the Equation

Diana says much of the sector's advice about storytelling focuses on the donor: which story, which language, what timing. What gets forgotten is the story owner, the person whose life the story is about. A story gone wrong can ruin the relationship between the nonprofit and the person who shared it, and the damage can spread through the community. If a story owner feels used, she asked, what are they going to tell their neighbors about you?

The risk isn't limited to crisis settings. Diana noted that all of us value our privacy, and even details we don't think much about, such as a first and last name or a school, can expose someone. Her rule is that nonprofits using someone's personal life to raise money need guardrails, both for private information and for how that person and their community are portrayed. People should be represented as in charge of their own trajectory, not as victims or tragedies.

She also made a point of reassuring fundraisers that this doesn't cost you revenue. You can still tell stories that speak to your mission. You're simply doing it in a way that honors privacy and dignity.

Mini takeaway: Ask who could be harmed by a story before you ask whether it will raise money.

Story Owners, Not Subjects

Diana uses the term story owner for the person who lived the experience, and storyteller for the person relaying it, such as a development director or executive director. She says working with story owners is her favorite part of the job.

Part of that work is teaching them that they can say no. Someone receiving services may feel obligated to agree if the organization asks them to share their story, since they may wonder whether saying no could affect the help they get. Others say yes eagerly and then overshare something they aren't ready to talk about. Diana says the feedback she hears from story owners is often, "I didn't know I could say no to that."

Her guideline, borrowed from a line she can't credit: "Tell stories from scars, not wounds." That means the person has had time to process what happened. In her Equator framework, the first step, Explore, is about finding out where the person is, and she notes that it isn't always about crisis. Some people simply share a lot without boundaries. Others may want to condense a painful experience so they can talk about it without being triggered. Whatever the case, the goal is to avoid leaving someone worse off than when they started working with your organization.

Skipped Steps Happen When You're Rushing

Most ethical lapses, Diana said, happen under deadline pressure. A grant report is due tomorrow, you need a story, and you skip the steps: taking time with the story owner, letting them approve the final version, understanding their background in advance. Her fix is a process, not more willpower.

The process starts with a cadence. When she was on a two-person development and communications team, she ran 12 stories a year, one per month, working closely with program staff so everyone knew who was up to bat. Those 12 stories covered all of their campaigns, grant reports and the annual report. If you're not sure where to start, Diana recommends one monthly newsletter story and then building toward a weekly email, and Trevor agreed that one a month is a good way to get off the couch. Pick a date, and give yourself four weeks to build the process. You get faster, and everyone learns what to expect.

She also recommends reusing stories with permission. When she interviewed story owners, she told them the plan was to use their story for a year, and that they could ask her to stop at any time. When the year was up, she didn't just keep running it. She went back and asked for an update, then refreshed the story for another year.

If you plan a major change, such as a billboard campaign, go back and ask for permission again. Diana also uses AI to build a project knowledge base of past stories so that when an appeal comes up, she can pull three rotating stories from the last 12 months.

Mini takeaway: Run a simple monthly story process, get approval every time, and ask again before you use a story in a new way.

Perfection Is the Enemy of Progress

Trevor raised a worry he hears a lot: organizations feel their story has to be perfect before it goes out, and fundraising isn't perfect. He mentioned a line from a past guest, "be clear over clever." Diana's response was that perfection is the enemy of progress. "You're not going to raise the money until you make the ask. You're not going to appeal to somebody's heart and have them donate to your organization unless you tell them why."

Her answer to the perfection problem is consistency. Stories told regularly, with a process behind them, are better than a single polished story that appears once and then disappears. And it's the process that keeps you ethical. When you're scrambling for a deadline, shortcuts happen. When there's a rhythm, there's room to do it right.

She noted that small teams, like the two-and-a-half-person average Trevor sees among Hey Nonprofits! listeners, are exactly who need this most. If you're wearing fourteen hats, one story a month, with the approval step baked in, is more realistic than a content calendar you'll abandon.

Helping Story Owners Set Their Own Boundaries

One of the more unusual parts of Diana's work is that she trains story owners directly. Organizations usually find her, and they often have a student advisory board or community advisory board made up of people with lived experience who speak on the nonprofit's behalf. Those groups want confidence in front of an audience, and Diana says the bonus is that they stay in control of their own narrative.

She also said that sharing can be risky for the person doing it. If someone tells a story they aren't ready to share, it can cause retraumatization, and the last thing a nonprofit wants is for a story owner to end up in a worse place than when they started working with the organization. Trevor's instinct, like many people's, was that sharing is cathartic. Diana's reply: that's not the case for everyone.

The skill is also a lasting one. Setting boundaries, deciding what to say and what to leave out, and owning your narrative is something a story owner can use long after the interview ends. If your organization works with an advisory board, ask whether anyone has ever talked with them about what they're comfortable sharing and what's off limits.

Mini takeaway: Treat story owners as partners with veto power, and tell them up front that no is an acceptable answer.

Say What You Do in a Sentence

Trevor asked Diana the question he asks many guests: what do you do, in ten words or fewer? Her answer: "I help nonprofits fundraise with confidence and integrity through ethical storytelling." It's a good model for your own mission statement. Trevor calls it a mission's marketing message, and the first ten words matter most.

Diana also described the Ethical Nonprofit Summit she created after noticing that at most conferences, ethical storytelling was one or two sessions among many about donor appeal. The summit is a single-track virtual event. She reported the second one took place in June, with a waitlist open for 2026, and that it is open to community speaker submissions.

She began speaking at the Nonprofit Storytelling Conference at the end of 2023. After a couple of conferences, she realized hers was one of maybe two sessions on the topic, while the rest covered how to appeal to donors, how many emails to send and how to read open rates. Those things matter, she said, but part of the equation was missing: the story owner's perspective. She put the first summit together in about five months, and it ran in September 2024. Diana made a point of inviting speakers whose views weren't identical to hers, because ethics are subjective and she wanted people to hear from other voices in the community, not just her.

Start With One Change

Diana describes ethical storytelling as a journey, and says she started "from the bum" because she had no idea what she'd done wrong until it happened. You don't have to overhaul your whole program. This week, pick one story that's currently public and look at it with fresh eyes. Does it include a full name, a child's name, a school or a location? Has the person approved it recently? Would they be comfortable if it were still up in a year?

Then put the next story on the calendar, and build the permission step in before the interview. As Diana's own experience shows, you can raise money and protect people at the same time, but only if you plan for both.

Insights in this article are drawn from the Hey Nonprofits! podcast episode “The Biggest Storytelling Mistake Nonprofits Make”, featuring Diana Farias, an ethical storytelling expert.